Save the Children Solomon Islands tsunami appeal (now with limerick contest!)

I have a feeling that with all the talk over Peter Beattie and Australian disaster preparedness (or the lack thereof!), there’s been less attention paid than there should have been to the plight of people who actually were hit by a tsunami on Monday in the Solomon Islands. Because I donate to them monthly, I’ve just received an email asking for donations from Save the Children. You can read about their response here and donate here. It’s payday today for me, so I’ve just tipped a hundred bucks into the jar.

Please post any other relevant links for giving, and any suggestions for LP fund-raising are also much appreciated.

Here’s the latest report from the ABC on the current situation of people in the Solomons, the risk of disease, and the growing death toll.

Update: Tigtog makes a spiffy fundraising suggestion in comments:

I want limericks!

One or more of Paris/bicycle/bikini must be mentioned! Bonus praise and adoration to anyone managing to get in McCain, snipers and Blackhawks.

I’ll pop in another hundred if we get to 50 limericks.

Posted in Developing world, Disasters, Notices
53 comments on “Save the Children Solomon Islands tsunami appeal (now with limerick contest!)
  1. Shaun says:

    Thanks for the links Mark. Much appreciated and donation made.

  2. tigtog says:

    Great idea Mark. It’s been a while since LP had a donation drive. Done.

  3. Mark says:

    I’m never very good at thinking up haiku contests or whatever, tigtog. Care to have a go?

  4. tigtog says:

    I want limericks!

    One or more of Paris/bicycle/bikini must be mentioned! Bonus praise and adoration to anyone managing to get in McCain, snipers and Blackhawks.

    I’ll pop in another hundred if we get to 50 limericks.

  5. Mark says:

    Ok, post updated!

  6. Shaun says:

    I shall set the bar low.

    There was a young lass in a Bikini,
    Who against the Blackhawk looked a little teensy,
    But it was a fashion pain,
    When she went walking with John McCain,
    And found wearing a bulletproof vest unseemly

  7. Kim says:

    Heh. Nice one, Shaun.

  8. j_p_z says:

    Okay, you really asked for it now…

    Paris H. cycling in a bikini!
    In Baghdad, in the Zone that is Greenie!
    To escape being stoned,
    Or from minarets thrown-ed,
    She’s advised she should out-class Houdini.

    Paris H. cycling in a bikini!
    Am I living in “I Dream of Jeannie”?
    It would be quite delicious
    If she’d grant me three wishes.
    (I assure you that none would be clean-ie.)

    The woist is yet to come. You’ve been warned.

  9. Kim says:

    You’ve been warned.

    Time to cut and run!

  10. Kim says:

    I’ll go in for another hundred if someone works McCain’s Death Star persona into it, and it’s funny!

  11. j_p_z says:

    Okay, this one’s a little tough…

    Breaking news from the Pentagon lie-cycle:
    In Iraq, there’s no longer a die-cycle.
    It seems women in burqas
    Don’t fear terrorist jerk-a’s.
    And a fish really *does* need a bicycle.

    Kim: what do you mean by McCain’s “Death Star persona”? Be more specific. And have your hundred ready to roll.

  12. Kim says:

    All will be explained, j_p_z, by going to this post, watching the video, and following the link to McCain’s website:

    (And keeping Star Wars in mind!)

  13. j_p_z says:

    Okay, one more, and then back to work. What the hell, it’s for a good cause…

    Paris H. cycling in a bikini!
    This is proof that Iraq is now free-nie.
    Yes, it’s bang on the money
    That the outlook is Sunni,
    Though it sounds like a scene from Fellini.

  14. Nabakov says:

    There was a young lass from Honiara
    Who wanted a life without drama
    Then along came a wave
    That left little to save
    Random shit like this is not karma

    I gave at the office – ie: helped quickly grease the skids of some water purification units and wranglers now touching down there.

    But if you’re still looking for cash donations, well I have a good half kilo of 5 cent pieces on my dresser that I’m looking to unload on someone, anyone.

  15. Pavlov's Cat says:

    There once was a poppet called Paris
    whom nought could abash nor embarrass.
    She would bike in bikinis
    while scoffing martinis —
    it’s do-able when you’re an heiress.*

    *If you recite this in a sort of Deep South accent then lines 1, 2 and 5 rhyme more or less properly.

  16. j_p_z says:

    Dr. Cat — nice rhyme with “heiress”! I had the first two, Paris/embarrass, on file, but just couldn’t figure out where the devil to find a third… well done.

    These things are addictive. Well, it’s lunch…

    Paris Hilton can’t help being hammy.
    And for this, she’ll no doubt win a Grammy:
    It’s a benefit CD
    To help out the needy.
    Dig the title: “A Boy Named Tsunami.”

  17. Just One More says:

    Okay, this is the last one, I promise…

    Since she likes going practically starkers,
    Paris H. can teach gals that is darkers:
    “You see, Men don’t make passes
    At burqa-clad lasses.”
    Quoth Miss P. to Iraq’s Dottie Parkers.

    — j_p_z, entering a 12-step program…

  18. Katz says:

    Said Paris, “McCain ain’t so tough,
    Wearing helmet, kevlar, and stuff.
    And did he cycle along
    Wearing nought but this thong
    Endangering the fuzz on his muff?”

  19. Canley says:

    John McCain, a Republican dork
    Through a market in Bagdad did walk
    ‘Cos he swore that he’d seen
    On a video screen
    Paris Hilton going down on a Blackhawk

  20. FDB says:

    Not bad Katz, but if Paris has fuzz on her muff I’ll eat my merkin.

  21. Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Fiasco da Gama says:

    Paris, give me your answer, do
    Tell me, what was it like for you
    To abandon your car
    Riding through the bazaar
    On a bicycle built for two?

  22. Canley says:

    “Who says that Iraq’s gone to hell?”
    She asked, ringing her bicycle bell
    “McCain says it’s safe,
    Said the wealthy young waif
    “And his 100 soldiers as well.”

  23. Canley says:

    The snipers sighed “We’re sorry, but Sir, us
    Soldiers have Iraqis to harrass.”
    McCain, in his gear,
    Said “I don’t want to be here,
    I’d rather be riding with Paris.”

  24. Katz says:

    Not bad Katz, but if Paris has fuzz on her muff I’ll eat my merkin.

    Thanks FDB. For the sake of accuracy, however, the line was:

    Endangering the fuzz on his muff?�

    Which you can interpret either as a “blonde joke” or as Paris’s commentary on John McCain’s manliness.

    PS, I believe that your merkin is quite unlikely to suffer ingestion.

  25. Canley says:

    Paris, not the brightest of sparks
    Thought McCain was a bit off the mark
    Still, she’d done what he’d said
    As she biked through Zone Red
    And brought a “two-peace” to Iraq

  26. Canley says:

    The Senator from Arizona
    Started getting a bit of a boner
    Watching Paris, now rooted,
    As she cycled swimsuited
    Through a market in Bagdad alone-a

  27. Canley says:

    Argghh, can’t… stop… thinking of limericks!

    John McCain, I heard, recently said “I’ll
    Pin a Congressional Medal
    Above Paris’s heart
    After doing her part
    In Iraq, and boy, can she pedal!”

  28. tigtog says:

    That’s 16 limericks so far – what a great start! Tres amusant, mes amis.

    Not quite 1/3 of the way to the target of 50, so I anticipate great rhymes yet to come.

    Poor Kim. No McCain Death Star effort yet.

  29. Canley says:

    With bikini in camouflage greens
    As she cycled past six war machines
    Paris sighed “Ah, McCain,
    You’ve done it again –
    Made me come with all these Marines.”

  30. FDB says:

    With his helmet all black and ashine,
    John McCain said Baghdad is just fine,
    From within my Death Star,
    I can tell you it’s far,
    Safer than the Saddam-lovers whine.

  31. Canley says:

    OK, here’s a Death Star one:

    Darth McCain as a final resort
    To crush Rebels his Empire had fought
    Sent his ultimate weapon
    But the Rebels were preppin’
    To shoot in her thermal exhaust port

  32. Canley says:

    McCain and his military henchmen
    Showed taking Iraq was a cinch, then
    Said when embarrassed
    By a bike-riding Paris
    “I thought we boycotted the French, man!”

  33. Canley says:

    Riding fast on her bicycle for one
    Paris cut paper dolls out for fun
    When asked why she did it
    The heiress cried, “Idiot,
    McCain said we can’t cut-and-RUN.”

  34. Canley says:

    About WMDs George Bush lied
    And now 3000 soldiers have died
    Would George Dubya like
    To borrow Paris’s bike
    To take anyone else for a ride?

  35. Canley says:

    Paris rode in as part of the surge-a
    Was asked “Go to Iraq? But why would ya?”
    “The reason I’m here’s
    For my pal Britney Spears,
    The Brits needs to stay in Fallujah.”

  36. Canley says:

    As they rode bikes instead of driving her car
    Shocking many a Bagdad market worker
    Paris said “Are you sayin’
    There’s a difference, McCain,
    Between bikinis and a burqa?”

  37. adrian says:

    Said Paris, “McCain’s such a bore,
    and this bike’s made my crotch so sore,
    So I’ll leave Bagdad
    Who cares about jihad,
    That’s what you have Muslims for!”

  38. j_p_z says:

    Paris Hilton, when cycling sans pants,
    Gives those multi-cult mores their chance:
    In Riyadh, she’d be caned,
    And in Rio, champagne-ed;
    They’d just torch their own suburbs in France.

  39. zorro says:

    ‘Iron’ John, McCain he was a shoppin’,
    In Bagh-Mart, when his eyes started poppin’.
    Peddlin’ by went Miss Hilton,
    Without so much as a kilt on,
    To waitin’ Blackhawk, he went a hoppin’.


    The Senator needed to think fast,
    Decided that he’d make a quick pass.
    Now McCain’s feelin’ Shiite.
    Shopped with Paris all ‘rabian day/night.
    And all he got, was a Saddam moustache.

  40. j_p_z says:

    Is it wills or ideas it’s a war of?
    And what is it that we should keep score of?
    Meanwhile, what’s not to like
    ‘Bout a blonde on a bike?
    Sort of bombshell we all could use more of.

  41. Bernice says:

    There’s a guy who goes by McCain,
    fast talking, sharp shooting, it’s plain,
    he’s quite lost the plot
    (go see his web spot)
    & watch him float down the drain

  42. Fiasco da Gama says:

    It was down in the marketplace where
    Paris rode through, exposed to the air.
    Quoth General Petraeus,
    As he watched from his dais,
    “C’est magnifique, mais n’est pas le guerre”.

  43. Katz says:

    A Jihadi to Paris said,
    “This bomb belt will make us both dead.
    Your bikini. Your bike.
    What’s not to like?
    But I’ll get 72 virgins instead.”

  44. FaceLift says:

    Whilst cycling in old gay Paris
    Her nose began twitching to sneeze
    Alas when it blew
    An enormous ATCHOO!
    Her bikini was launched to the trees

    McCain, in his car, passing by
    Said “The rockets are starting to fly!
    But don’t panic my friend
    This isn’t the end
    We’ll stand hand in hand err we die”

  45. tigtog says:

    We’re so close! 35 limericks (insert Sesame Street Count impression here)!

    Some outstanding efforts so far. I particularly appeciate the ones that scan.

  46. FaceLift says:

    One lim’rick, two lim’ricks, three
    on Paris and her bikini
    On Johnno McCain
    his recycling campaign
    and attempt at the presidency

  47. suz says:

    I don’t know the story ’bout Paris
    It’s something to do with a bike
    But I read that McCain
    (Who is such a big pain)
    Took some soldiers out for a hike.

    They went to a Baghdad market
    During a lull in the killings
    McCain stepped over the mess
    And turned to the press
    “This is such great value for our shillings”.

  48. steve says:

    Safe enough for Paris in a bikini said McCain,
    On a bicyle in Baghdad to strain
    Filmed in a flack jack to prove it,
    The 100 GI’s told to move it,
    Yes, with three pilots giving cover from their plane.

  49. Scuttlefish says:

    This competition unfortunately appears to have died somewhat short of the required 50 limericks. Unfortunately, the whole Iraq bonus thing seems to distracted everyone from the real purpose of a limerick – smut, smut, smut! Focus, people, focus!!! You know you have it in you:

    A bicycle nut named McCormack
    Took Paris for a ride in the outback
    But so loose was her seat
    She lost grip with her feet
    And his crankshaft caught in her mudflap

  50. I posted this on my blog last summer in honor of the swimming garb’s sixtieth birthday. Hope it suits your porpoises.

    Sexy at Sixty
    [and I don’t mean Dubya]

    So much in a package so teeny-
    It’s work of a fashion Houdini.
    The consummate Gaul!
    From nothing atoll,
    He conjured the Age of Bikini.

  51. On a more serious note, here is my post after the 2004 disaster that is, unfortunately, still apropos today.

    Wave of indifference
    Tens of thousands have gone to their grave,
    Whom a warning might easily save.
    A child cries for mommy
    When, like the tsunami,
    We dismiss her with simply a wave.

  52. tigtog says:

    Thanks everyone who posted. This competition definitely did run out of steam, but nevermind, I’m making my further donation today anyway.

    It’s worth reminding everyone that the period after the first weeks of publicity is often when the greatest gap in donations occurs. Please take a moment and lob what you can afford over to Save the Children‘s tsunami relief fund.

    Thanks again for the limericks.

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