BB balance

It’s not only fascinating docos about Dolly that display the government’s creeping balance-isation of everything on tv. After the turkey slap stoushes of 2006, Big Brother 2007 is trimming its sails to the prevailing electoral winds. (Let’s not forget that the BB06 incident also led to crazed regulate the intertubes and all who sail in them draft bill from the immaculately coiffed but ever policy deficient Senator Coonan).

Not content with pleasing Brownies and Ruddites with a totally Green House, BB07 has an on first inspection utterly vile housemate, Joel, who is a Young Liberal:

Fact 1: Joel is an elite athlete, neat freak and young Liberal.
Fact 2: He has been known to dress as a priest to meet girls.

Yep, Joel, that’s normally a surefire way to impress the gals!

I’ll resist the temptation, at this stage, to indulge in a rant about the triumph of the airheads in the serried and designer jeaned ranks of Australia’s conservative yoof. No doubt Miranda Devine and other apostles of South Park conservatism will be proud. Or not.

But, it goes on.

As well as killing the adults only show, the show has actual professionals to encourage a non-bogan-ish and intellectually refined atmosphere instead of all that talking about sex (yeah, right). There are two qualified solicitors! (To borrow Gretel’s term – who, incidentally, has apparently heeded the call of the masses to fire her stylist.)

And there’s a godfearing Mormon woman who doesn’t drink and has never worn a bikini. She’s chillaxed! From a family of nine! And country hair stylist Aleisha has seven siblings! More than in Peter Costello’s wildest dreams. And in the optional housemates we can vote in, there’s a happy clapper and a secular Muslim woman with blue eyes and not a burqa in sight!. Demet is a belly dancer. How Aussie can you get? Don’t you just love BB, election year style? Quite possibly, Ms Ove, Janet and the Devine Miss M will. Pity about the timing though – when there’s a very good chance indeed “all of us” will vote John Howard out of the House…

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Posted in culture, levity, media, politics
29 comments on “BB balance
  1. silkworm says:

    I’m impressed by the machine that condenses water out of the air. I predict that either Joel, being an evil Liberal, will try to destoy this machine, or Rebecca will stick her head inside it and will talk underwater.

  2. Christine Keeler says:

    Kim, this post is clearly above and beyond the call of duty etc etc etc

    Anyway musn’t forget that for all things Big Bother Jess of Ausculture is just the shizzle. Except she isn’t Jess for Ausculture anymore, she’s Jess from Defamer http://www.defamer.com.au/

    Go there for tonight’s live update. Her assessment of Joel is a bit less flattering than Kim’s:

    “I’m asexual – I’m in love with myself” Yes, Joel is a Young Liberal – hey, we’re not saying the two are linked – and is revolting. Seriously. He’s the 2007 version of last year’s uber-fucklord Michael. Gretel asks him about his reputation as a ladykiller. He replies “I’m a strapping young lad. I’d love to meet a lovely strapping lady.” and Defamer Australia begins quietly humming Lola by The Kinks to ourselves. Gretel clearly hates him.

    Rebecca also sounds interesting:

    Third housemate is a Mormon named Rebecca. She’s never had a drink but there’s a twinkle in her eye which leads us to think she could go off the rails. Huzzah. Gretel asks her how she’s feeling – “It’s sort of like I’ve had an explosion on the inside”. Oh bless her. That’s called an orgasm, Rebecca, and we’re not sure you want to be with Gretel Killeen for your first.

  3. steve says:

    I predict that either Joel, being an evil Liberal, will try to destoy this machine

    I think you got that one right, conservatives love to sit around among ruins,it is when they are most comfortable. Just watch him then try to defend the process as a tradition.

  4. Shaun says:

    From the aforementioned happy clapper‘s online profile:

    Fact 1: Happy clapper believes men are superior to women because Jesus was a man.

    Such an argument will be sure to confound those inferior female solicitor type house mates. Game over for the women it seems.

  5. TimT says:

    BB07 has an on first inspection utterly vile housemate, Joel, who is a Young Liberal:

    So is he utterly vile because he is a young Liberal, or not? I’m sure some of them are very nice, you know.

  6. Helen says:

    Tim, I’ve just read The Education of a Young Liberal by John Hyde Page, and they are so far beyond awful even many Liberals can’t stand them.

    Ahem – thread derailment – sorry. As you were.

  7. Jacques Chester says:

    I’ve met a lot of liberal students over the years, though I’ve never met this Joel fella. Still I’m sure it should be mere seconds before the ALSF mailing list is asked to sacrifice 55c per vote to get “our man” over the top.

    Unfortunately the producers of BB over the years have taken great care only to select those young libs / lib students who were fucknuckles of one sort or another. Just more left wing bias I suspect </joke>.

    Still keeping on stereotypes, he must be pissed about the $0 prize pool.

  8. Jacques Chester says:

    The happy clapper also made me laugh because his logic can go sooooo faaaar!

    For example, Jews are better than Christians – Jesus was a Jew!

  9. TimT says:

    Yes, I’ve read Education of a Young Liberal. It’s a book about branch stacking by a guy who was active in branch stacking circles, so unsurprisingly it’s full of unpleasant characters. But I doubt it tells the full story. Mark Latham famously endorsed the book by saying it was an important record of branch stacking in the NSW Liberal Party, and that ‘Labor is worse’.

    Perhaps if the producers cared about encouraging good behaviour in the political parties, they might like to offer young Libs a positive role model! Presumably they like the ‘vile young Lib’ stereotype because it worked well for them – what – two years ago with Kate*?

    *I don’t watch the show, but the name’s right isn’t it?

  10. Jacques Chester says:

    I don’t know. Maybe only the knobs turn up for auditions? Or is it just that they try to get as much stupid drama together as they can?

  11. dj says:

    The first contestant reminded me of Julie Bishop.

  12. Kim says:

    Presumably they like the ‘vile young Lib’ stereotype because it worked well for them – what – two years ago with Kate*?

    Kate wasn’t a Young Lib, just a Liberal voter.

    And, no, I thought Joel was vile before I found out he was part of an sms branch stack of darkness.

  13. FDB says:

    Mark Latham famously endorsed the book by saying it was an important record of branch stacking in the NSW Liberal Party, and that ‘Labor is worse’.

    He’s stealing CL’s bit!

    For example, Jews are better than Christians – Jesus was a Jew!

    Sandals are better than shoes. Beards are better than shaving. It’s cool to die young.

  14. Frank Calabrese says:

    And Big Brothel has it’s first “Scandal”

    http://www.news.com.au/perthnow/story/0,21598,21604745-5005368,00.html

    AN Internet porn site has tricked thousands of Big Brother fans by claiming to offer a pirated live stream of the show only to switch the website to serving porn.

    Ten’s programming chief David Mott was first alerted to the live stream by his son scouring the web from home.

    Pictures from the pre-recorded show were shown on a website last night, which claimed it would be serving a live stream from today as a result of problems with the legitimate Big Brother site.

    Channel Ten’s Big Brother site experienced security problems when fans tried to sign up for premium content which provides a live stream of the show.

    The pirate site last night promised fans of the show that construction was in progress and to come back today for a live stream.

    However when thousands of fans logged on the site this morning (widely publicised on sites including The Daily Telegraph Online, they were served hardcore pornography.

    Oh Dear 🙂

  15. AJ says:

    From the aforementioned happy clapper’s online profile:

    Fact 1: Happy clapper believes men are superior to women because Jesus was a man.

    Such an argument will be sure to confound those inferior female solicitor type house mates. Game over for the women it seems.

    I thought this was the best part of his profile:

    Describe yourself in 3 words:
    Competitive, loyal, pretty boy.

    Good try though.

  16. Jacques Chester says:

    I’ve got just two words for you Jake: Prom queen. Material.

  17. Amanda says:

    The Mormon was drinking V in the first ep so she’s already bringing the crazy rebellion.

  18. Kim says:

    So who got voted in?

    I couldn’t be bothered watching tonight.

  19. Frank Calabrese says:

    Since Big Brothel are having security problems with their Premium Streams, you can watch the streams for FREE 🙂

    See all the action live from the House
    You have unlimited access to these two streams, while we resolve our technical difficulties. Just remember, you will need to refresh the player every 20 minutes

    http://www.bigbrother.3mobile.com.au/index.html

  20. Frank Calabrese says:

    Bugger, I stuffed up the Block Quote – can somebody fix it so the Network 10 notice re free Streaming is quoted ??

  21. Frank Calabrese says:

    Actually, this is the CORRECT message from the producers re technical problems with stream.

    TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES
    Due to technical difficulties, areas requiring registration on the Big Brother site are unavailable at this time.
    To ensure you still have access to all the latest BB news while we’re resolving these issues, the Live Stream and White Room Stream are open to all users, regardless of registration status.

    You now have unlimited access to these two streams, as well as the normal access to our regular news, diary and video content. We’ll continue to keep you updated on our progress

  22. Antonio says:

    Wow Kim that really is quite a rant!

    Do you really think that the BB producers designed the housemates influenced by the forthcoming election? Sounds a bit far-fetched to me.

    Probably they chose people that they thought would intrigue their audience. Young Libs and Young Lefties have all appeared on BB before. None of this is new or part of some political/teleological purpose.

    I am intrigued by the ad hominem attack on Joel. Do you hate him because of his open politics or did you just add that for rhetorical effect? Furthermore, what is with your characterisation of conservatives with designer jeans – when has it ever been otherwise?! More importantly, does anyone really care? The problem with stereotypes is that they are utterly useless as characterisations in real debate and discussion. Joel may be a fuckstick but what does being Liberal or expensively dressed have to do with it????

    This Liberal-baiting can really be quite tedious and ersatz filler for real political discourse analysis. Somehow I just don’t think that BB will be swinging any mortgage belt seats in the Federal election.

    How about a post on the far more important French election instead?

  23. Kim says:

    Antonio, I thought he was really over the top conceited and basically self-centred before I found out he was a young Lib.

    Gretel referred in an interview to the fact that this is an election year, and the producers have made it clear that they’re trying to avoid the censorship/moral panic fest that politicians indulged in last year.

    The serious point of the post is the way that federal government policy encourages self-censorship across the media.

  24. arielladrake says:

    There’s also something to be said for the fact that they chose a non-white guy to be ‘the male supremacist guy’. Nice way to subtly reinforce the ‘it’s them brown people who hate our women (white folk aren’t like that)’ idea. Though if he’d been voted into the house, I suspect it would’ve backfired for at least a couple of the white boys.

  25. Christine Keeler says:

    …and so it begins

  26. Kim says:

    Game on, moles! 🙂

  27. Christine Keeler says:

    Kim, that is just so genius

  28. Frank Calabrese says:

    I note Big Brothel is in trouble agfain for allowing the C word during the 7pm show.

    http://www.news.com.au/perthnow/story/0,21598,21619179-5005361,00.html

    I>BIG Brother turned big blooper last night, with contestant Bodie uttering a swear word during the PG-rated daily show.

    Viewers have complained to The Daily Telegraph’s Sydney Confidential that despite warnings by political leaders and TV industry watchdogs, producers of the reality show had alleged failed to bleep out the offensive language, which went to air in an edited package of highlights from the first 24 hours of this year’s series.

    It also puts a question mark over the show’s pledge to clean up its act this year.

    Bodie, an electrical designer and part-time underwear model, told other housemates he was “dense c***” during the PG-rated program last night.

    The apparent blooper does not bode well for the new series, already under review by the local broadcasting big brother, the Australian Communications & Media Authority (ACMA).

    Is Ten/Southern Star Endomel doing this on purpose to get the show yanked due to hte low ratings of opening night ?

  29. Frank Calabrese says:

    Whoops, double post, can someone remove one of thwm please ? Also, would it be possible to have some kind of mechanism to edit one’s post ?

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