The Go bag

I’ll see your fridge magnet and raise you a Go bag.

The City of Sydney along with the Federal Government wants us all to get ready.

Sydneysiders will be encouraged to prepare themselves and their families for emergencies in an important and emotive public education campaign launched today.

Lord Mayor Clover Moore MP said Let’s Get Ready Sydney encourages people to think about how a major emergency in the CBD would affect them and provides advice on essential preparations everybody should make.

Bus stop advertising, a website and pocket guide asks questions such as who’ll pick up the kids from school and what would you do if there was no mobile phone reception.

The campaign has been developed in partnership with Emergency NSW and the Commonwealth Attorney General’s Department and included consultation with senior representatives from the State’s emergency services, local residents and businesses.

Prepare yourselves for the end times people!


writer, singer, webwrangler, blogger, comedy tragic |

Posted in Apocalypse, Disasters
63 comments on “The Go bag
  1. Fiasco da Gama, Stretching Out His Hamstrings, The Better To Duck And Cover says:

    Here’s mine:
    * mobile phone with a prepaid SIM card in old flatmate’s name
    * 800ml bottle, gin, one per family member
    * box of old-school Sudafed, IYKWIMAITYD
    * one miniature combination Russian phrase book and Bible
    * cat

  2. Phil says:

    ….and no bloody recommendation for a Luger and vial of Cyanide. The CoS is obviously not serious about our preparations.

  3. Laura says:

    You beat me to it Phil, not that doing so presents much of a challenge. This is such a lovely story.

    FdG, Clover thoughtfully recommends storing the cat separately, in a cotton pillowcase. I once had occasion to transport a previous cat from one end of Hoddle St / Punt Rd to the other inside a cotton pillowcase and it honestly wasn’t much fun for either of us.

    In addition to the above, sim card etc, my Go Bag will have:

    * Australian Government Publishing Service Style Manual (for rebuilding of civilisation purposes)

    * Sedgway

    * 8 x 11 photograph of Charlton Heston

    * disguise kit

    * pallet of Man-sized Saladas

  4. Does this count as an emergency? Judging by what it is going to do to the traffic… yes.

  5. Laura says:

    I expect it will count as a fashion emergency if not any other kind.

  6. tigtog says:

    I’m one of those ex-bushwalking kids who always tends to have a few basics in the car anyway, and I’ve got a bushfire bag next to the fire extinguisher just in case (I’m always visiting friends and family in bushfire territory).

    The RFS Bushfire Home Survival Kit, along with the similiar bottled water, fully charged torch and battery powered radio, add a few useful items for emergency situations where you might need to help yourselves and others:

    * Sturdy Garden Variety or Leather Gloves
    * Goggles or Glasses To Protect Eyes
    * A Face Mask, Handkerchief or Cloth Nappy for Portection From Smoke and Super Heated Air
    * A Broad Brimmed and Non-Synthetic Hat To Protect Head From Embers

    The RFS make a big point of ensuring that your clothing is non-synthetic, and your walking shoes should be stout and also non-synthetic. The City of Sydney doesn’t seem to care if we catch on fire while the city goes down in flames.

  7. Fiasco da Gama, Crossing Eyes And Making Tea says:

    Yes, Laura! The 6th Edition (2002), I hope. Also, having looked in the side pockets of my Emergency Carpetbag, I’ve found:
    * $100 in carbon nano-rod fiat currency

  8. Don’t forget to pack plenty of brown paper to protect you from the alpha-particles and your tinfoil hat to protect you from the mind-control rays.

  9. Guise says:

    After a year in Sydney, I packed my go-bag and I bloody went.

  10. tigtog says:

    Laura, up until this moment I hadn’t even joined the dots that APEC coming to Sydney meant a whole new array of APEC shirts on national leaders. I’m curled up whimpering now.

  11. Lefty E says:

    Ive got my fridge magnet in a runaway bag: locked – and loaded.
    And one of those wifi mobile headsets, so I can report suspicious activity 24/7 and wow inferior peoples with the triumphs of Western civilization.

  12. Laura says:

    The only car I was interested in was one that the Get-Ready Man, as we called him, rode around town in: a big Red Devil with a door in the back. the Get-Ready Man was a lank unkempt elderly gentleman with wild eyes and a deep voice who used to go about shouting at people through a megaphone to prepare for the end of the world. ‘ GET READY! GET READY! he would bellow. ‘THE WORLLLD IS COMING TO AN END!’ His startling exhortations would come up, like summer thunder, at the most unexpected times and in the most surprising places. I remember once during Mantell’s production of King Lear at the Colonial Theatre, that the Get-Ready Man added his bawlings to the squealing of Edgar and the ranting of the King and the mouthing of the Fool, rising from somewhere in the balcony to join in. The theatre was in absolute darkness and there were rumblings of thunder and flashes of lightning offstage. Neither father nor I, who were there, ever got completely over this scene, which went something like this:

    Edgar: Tom’s a-cold. -O, do de do de, do de! – Bless thee from whirlwinds, star–blasting, and taking…the foul fiend vexes! (thunder off)

    Lear: What! Have his daughters brought him to this pass? –
    Get-Ready Man: Get ready! Get ready!
    Edgar: Pillicock sat on Pillocock-hill – Halloo, halloo, loo, loo! (Lightning flashes)

    Get-Ready Man: The Worllld is com-ing to and End!
    Fool: This cold night will turn us all to fools and madmen!
    Edgar: Take heed o’ the foul fiend: obey thy paren-
    Get-Ready Man: Get Rea-dy!
    Edgar: Tom’s a-cold!
    Get-Ready Man: The Worr-uld is coming to an end!…

    They found him finally, and ejected him, still shouting. The Theatre, in our time, has known few such moments.

    Thurber, “The Car We Had To Push”

  13. MayS says:

    1. bottle of Geo F Trumper Bay Rum
    2. sandalwood soap
    3. Shahen-Shah, by Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan
    4. Stargazer lilies
    5. coffee from Sulaweisi
    6. collarless Italian linen shirt, white
    7. Shalimar perfume
    8. Wine dark lingerie for sacred spaces, preferably Italian
    4. classy strap heels

  14. Laura, up until this moment I hadn’t even joined the dots that APEC coming to Sydney meant a whole new array of APEC shirts on national leaders. I’m curled up whimpering now.

    I reckon we need an alternative APEC T-shirt design competition 🙂

  15. Phil says:

    The cats are now being fattened up as we speak……

  16. suz says:

    Where are we supposed to GO to with our bags?

  17. Alex says:

    * 800ml bottle, gin, one per family member

    Victory gin?

  18. Guise has the best answer!

    Tigtog, I don’t know about the t-shirts, but I am dying to know what the “national costume” will be, the one that the leaders all dress in for the photo-opportunity.

  19. Kim says:

    Probably that green tracksuit that Howard wears.

  20. Pavlov's Cat says:

    Where are we supposed to GO to with our bags?

    Come to Adders. We have sunshine and excellent wine. Mind you, the Japanese subs made it all the way down here too, so nowhere is safe, really.

    My list:

    Chanel No. 5
    Panadeine Forte
    Comfortable knickers
    Great-aunt Jessie’s engagement ring (excellent 1919 diamond)
    Both cats (not in cotton pillowcases)
    Laphroiag (medicinal)
    Camera (for post-apocalypse blog posts once normal services are resumed)
    Copy of Pollyanna

  21. David Rubie says:

    Go bag? Most sydney train commuters used to have their own:
    1) 600Ml bottle of coke.
    2) 5 Redskins.
    3) Michael Crichton or Jackie Collins novel (doesn’t matter which one).
    4) Hand made shiv for overly crowded spaces.
    5) Carefully cultivated body odour.

    You can always use the shiv on your fellow humans to get more redskins and coke when you run out. Book is for throwing and self defence against shiv attack, not reading (must be thick).

  22. tigtog says:

    Phil on 17 July 2007 at 11:39 am

    The cats are now being fattened up as we speak……

  23. patrickg says:

    Geiger counter
    Dehydrated undies
    matchlock AND flint
    85 tins of Bully Beef
    beads for the natives.

    oh yeah, and this:

  24. patrickg says:

    Sigh, image blocked.


    AND THIS!:

    Edited to add intended image – tigtog

  25. Phil says:

    Yum, tasty looking cat.

  26. tigtog says:

    Sorry Patrick, only members of the collective are allowed to post images by the blog software. Give us a link.

  27. tigtog says:

    Phil, if you’re that hungry perhaps you should try Canada.

  28. Adam Gall says:

    * Garbage bag full of hay (see below)
    * Unhappy rabbit in cotton pillowcase (or his carry-case, depending on mood and opportunity)
    * Suitcase full of guinea pigs (for company, then later for food)
    * USB stick with thesis on it (in case there are university arts faculties in post-apocalyptic world)

  29. anthony says:

    Bag of goey for your go bag, sir?

  30. FDB says:

    “in case there are university arts faculties in post-apocalyptic world”

    Natch, Adam. Can’t get more post-modern than post-apocalyptic!

  31. Suits for APEC? Going “Wilderness Society” by dressing up as koalas works for me. Bonus points if the world leaders have change buckets.

    BTW, I want to say that the Ã?o Dàis they wore at APEC last year were utter crap. It’s one of those garments that should be made to measure, and should look really good on the wearer – male or female. The ones last year look like they came from old USAF parachutes from the seventies.

  32. Laura says:

    I don’t think Sai Gon’s suggestion there can be bettered even if we try all day.

  33. Mark says:

    What about naked just wearing a hat from which a rabbit can be plucked?

  34. A Gnome Named Grimble Grumble says:

    My Go bag…

    — one CD by the Go-Go’s
    — one DVD of the movie “Go”
    — one book by Nikolai Gogol
    — one photo of Go-mez Addams
    — one map of the Go-lan Heights
    — one map of the Go-bi Desert
    — one go-rilla mask

  35. Lang Mack says:

    (In Case of Emergency) ICE in your mobile phone address book, who makes this stuff up, and get paid for it?
    Now, just working out the Rodent motive, I’ll be back.

  36. tigtog says:

    Andrew, I could stop any time I wanted. Definitely. No problem.

  37. FDB says:

    *1 x cat, cute
    *1 x polaroid camera
    *1 x full Letraset alphabet in all-caps Impact

    …and civilisation marches on.

    Apocalypse indeed. Ain’t gonna stop the lolcats.

  38. Mercurius says:

    * Red tuille skirt, fairy wings & plastic wand.
    * A copy of Ulysses, for hitting people.
    * American Express card, for not leaving home without.

  39. Evan says:

    There’s a rumour going around on Road to Surfdon about Howard pulling the pin. Probably wishful thinking, but I wonder what’d be in his Go-bag.

    Likley a biography of Bradman, a baggy-green cap, a bottle or two of Grange Hermitage from the Kirribilli cellar and a set of spare batteries for his hearing aid.

  40. Nabakov says:

    One Virgin Galactic first class ticket and a pair of comfy shoes.

    Judging by the number of people prepared to take their moggies with them into a post apocalyptic world, a sensible long term investment might be a Weber grill, a truckload of seasonings and condiments and the MacDonald’s Franchise Holders Manual.

  41. Nabakov says:

    Joking aside though, the idea of a Go Bag and knowing some detail of what the authourities plan to do (and so what they might fuck up too) in the event of an emergency is not that silly an idea.

    Some good suggestions here.

    I’ve found the easiest and most practical way here is just to keep a permanently stocked carry on bag basically equipped to see you through being unexpectedly stuck in a transit lounge or cruddy third world hotel for a few days. It even doubles for planned travel too.

  42. Mercurius says:

    Joking aside though:

    * Princess Leia’s holographic distress call. Must. Find. Obi-wan.
    * Easter eggs
    * My bits of string collection I knew it would come in handy some day.

  43. curious cow says:

    “Where are we supposed to GO to with our bags?”

    In emergencies it is always safest to stay where you are .

    Re Howard pulling the pin ? With all the vehement denials being pronounced on radio at present it must be a possibility.

  44. Nabakov says:

    In emergencies it is always safest to stay where you are .

    Sometimes yes. Sometimes no. In the event of a rising flood, a fire or the MC announcing the next act features a piano accordian, I prefer to get mobile.

  45. Lang Mack says:

    Hoy, joking aside, will you all please stop laughing, this is serious, really really serious.I live 600 klm from the Big Smoke and I’ll be swamped by cat hugging lefty’s carrying bits of string,books the never read and demands on how to “live of the land” for the next two days, while trying to get the Volvo out of a bog. Please just stay at home, draw the drapes and get pissed on Chardy, OK.

  46. jinmaro says:

    Lang Mack, mate, the quaint idea of living off the land, as you say, has been so decisively demolished as an achievable let alone desirable alternative since about at least 20 years ago, that most city folk would rather contemplate moving to Newcastle, say, than out your way, especially since real coffee is a chimera and everyone is way too hag-ridden with 2-3 jobs to envisage any sort of face-to-face social life bar a desperate Saturday nite session of bingo at the local rubberdy dub.

  47. Nabakov says:

    the quaint idea of living off the land

    Catburgers with a nice wattle and native plum garnish anyone? Got a special offer right now. Three for a packet of Marlboro Light, four AA batteries, a dozen 12 gauge shottie cartridges and a reasonably intact copy of Penthouse (Black Label edition). Or five litres of bottled spring water with the seal still intact. Look, tell you what, I’ll throw in a nice piece of cat fur as well, 40 whole square cms, only worn once by Steve Munn. Can’t say fairer than that. Here, just let me baste some more special sauce on the kitty kebabs. Smells great doesn’t it? Is that your wife or daughter or mother? Listen, how would you like to score a jumbo family Tiddles tub to go? It’ll just take 10 minutes of someone else’s time.

  48. Lang Mack says:

    Oh, Jinmaro and Nabkov , mates,would seem you are both a little testy, where I am now, can’t here a vehicle, very cold and frosty, the coffee is excellent, bingo went out years ago, we don’t use “shotties’, that says a lot about you, and spring water………As for the wife/daughter/mother/ there are your standards.

  49. Nabakov says:

    Lang Mack, I trust when the army moves in to help you poor country folks with that great raging humour drought you appear to be experiencing up there, they’ll bring emergency pallets of freeze-dried funny.

  50. B.S. Fairman says:

    Condoms – In the mid 90’s there was a power plant strike in France that resulted in thousands of people being trapped in the inner city of Paris. The number of childern born to un-wed parents in the department sky rocketed nine months later.

  51. jinmaro says:

    Lang, where I am a few kms from the CBD I can’t hear a vehicle either, courtesy of industrial strength ear muffs, foam ear plugs and the International Chamber Music Festival contest from ABC podcast on full blast. Sweet.

    Furthermore, I am presently roasting my sweet behind in front of a roaring slow combustion heater fuelled by timber from the misbegotten Pillaga.

    As a denizen of the city I can stay up late into the wee small hours reading the classics cos it will take me 7 mins on my scooter to get to work tomorrow AND i can walk at lunchtime for three kms through thick bush – more bird-life than you can poke a stick at – and stop off on the way back home for a lecture/seminar on Goethe served up with sachertorte and strudel and populated by sweet-smelling swains.

  52. Lang Mack says:

    ‘When the army moves in”, blimey, is that bad?.(Nabkov, I found you remarks re; the females a little displeasing).

  53. david tiley says:

    Two small boxes.

    One containing the Peter Jackson Orc mind control amplifier and antenna and

    the other containing ground up Orcs with a set of instructions which say: switch on Orc mind control device. Add water to ground up Orcs. Rule the world.

    I have waited for such a long time.

  54. Graham Bell says:

    Way back in the late ‘Fifties and early “Sixties, at a time when nuclear attack on Australia was no less likely than now, the authorities did produce some informative material on what practical things you could do in the event of such attacks.

    Later, both sides of politics decided that the best way to handle Civil Defence was to ignore it all, not alarm the voters/consumers and pretend nothing nasty could happen to us because we were so nice and we were members of the United Nations. [Sound familiar?] Anyway, if you can find any of those old pamphlets or booklets, they are worth reading.

    Add to your Go-Bag a couple of pair of fully-enclosed disposable goggles and several disposable paper dust-masks — because when high-explosives and concrete meet abruptly, the ultra fine dust all swirling around can turn your lungs into cement-mixers [not a very nice way to go at all!!] and do a rapid cut-and-polish job on your eyes [getting the hell out of there does depend on working eyesight].

  55. Johnno says:

    Everybody must have a copy of “The Thoughts of Dolly Downer”.

  56. Helen says:

    Well, at least that’d be easy to carry.

  57. Helen says:

    As in, lightweight.

  58. su says:

    and do a rapid cut-and-polish job on your eyes

    Worked out Ok for this guy.

  59. Greg says:

    Rope (helped out ol’ Frodo, didn’t it?), waterproof matches/zippo and lighter fluid/disposable lighters, sewing kit. The cat food I’ll carry might keep me an’ the dependents fed for a little while; after that, they’ll have to do the hunting for me (note to self: next time get a dog).

    Better get a trolley to carry all this stuff. Or stay home.

  60. B.S. Fairman says:

    The Go-shopping trolley…. I bet it has wonky wheels.

  61. tigtog says:

    David Tiley,

    you’ll need a cushion plumper, grape peeler and general factotum, yes?


  62. Graham Bell says:

    Yes but we don’t all have superhuman powers …..

    B.S, Fairman:

    The Go-shopping trolley

    You mean like the one in the Arnold Schwatznegger action-hero satire “Commando”? “Let’s go shopping” Rocket launcher, grenades, machine-gun, ammunition, ….. Now there’s an idea 🙂

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