LP federal election caption contest

Even though I find myself in tropical climes for the final week of the election, I can’t help but have a peek at what is happening during the final week of the campaign.

But rather then engage in psephological pontificating or electoral examinations during the final countdown, my final blogging contribution to Election 2007 will be a caption contest. The rules are simple. Insert witty musings into the comments field and then submit after viewing the photo over the fold. Rinse hands, wipe and repeat as needed.

Remember wit and creativity are rewards in themselves. Photo nicked from the SMH website.


Posted in federal election '07
62 comments on “LP federal election caption contest
  1. aidan says:


    “The winners of the “Biggest and Smallest Head” competition take their prize for spin.”

    “The Prime Minister was shocked when his knee was stroked by Mr Costello”

    “Mr Costello put on a brave face, but he was clearly disappointed at not being allowed to drive once again”

    “Honk Honk! Look at me everyone! I’m important because I am driving a FIRE ENGINE!”

  2. silkworm says:

    “It’s too bad Turnbull couldn’t get his rain-making machine built in time. Now we’re going to have to put out the fire in Lindsay ourselves.”

  3. Shaun says:

    Aidan, your first one made me chuckle.Good one.

    My offering is a Costello thought bubble “At last. I finally get the keys on Saturday night.”

  4. CK says:

    I don’t think I can top that Shaun. My meager offering:

    “Oh look! It’s Jackie Kelly!”


  5. Katz says:

    “Sure, this is fun Pete, but Kirribilli House is better. But you’ll have to take my word on that, won’t you?”

  6. gandhi says:

    HOWARD: Oh my God! I think I am going to crash!

    COSTELLO: Yessssss….

  7. Gaz says:

    ” With that smile on the smirker,and John’s mouth open in a seductive manner,is that a before or after shot”

  8. Gaz says:

    Sorta gives a new meaning to Howard being “Head of government”

  9. Gaz says:

    John the builder, “Can we fuck it? yes we can”

  10. catlick says:

    “Fasten your seat belts, it’s going to be a bumpy ride” [sic] (with apologies to Bette Davis).

  11. Gaz says:

    Costello to Howard,”That’s not the gear stick you idiot”

  12. Gaz says:

    Well did I pass my license Pete did I ,did I, did I.HOOO HOOO HOOO.HOOOO.

  13. Gaz says:

    Howard.”Last week I couldn’t spell fireman, now I ARE one”

  14. Gaz says:

    Howard”Ring the bell Mr Speaker”

  15. catlick says:

    “No I’m fine Peter. You can drive on the way back.”

  16. Gaz says:

    Howard and Costello on the way to Labors campaign head quarters.

    “Hey John you havn’t left your sim card in the boot of this bastard have you? “

  17. Gaz says:

    Howard. “Core look at the tits on that”

    Costello “That’s Joe Hockey you idiot”

  18. catlick says:

    “If we don’t get there, we can blame the outmoded party machine.”

  19. catlick says:

    Something something, fat chick joke, something…sheesh

  20. catlick says:

    “And Peter did you notice that close grouping of what seems to be 3 bullet holes in the fuselage?”

  21. Gaz says:

    Costello.”Close your mouth John or some one may think this is a letter box.”

  22. Gaz says:

    Costello.Um pity Abbot wasn’t here we would be able to paint a nice party slogan on his ears”

  23. Gaz says:

    Howard. “This bastard wont bloody start”

    Costello. “Um a bit like our election campaign”

  24. Gaz says:

    Howard. Ooo core Pete drivin this lorry is ard work,will it pass the fairness test.Is the lorry subject to unfair dismissal?Then FIRE it”

  25. Gaz says:

    Truck two way crackles into life..

    “Emergency there is a fire at the Keating mansion emergency”

    Howard.”Ooocore Pete whad did they just say”

    Costello. “Don’t forget to check the oil”

  26. Zarquon says:

    “Historic? – We’re history, mate”

  27. catlick says:

    “Can you smell something? Better put on a Gaz mask.”

  28. David Rubie says:


  29. David Rubie says:

    It’s a classic “who farted?” photo too. Farts are funny.

  30. Gaz says:

    Howard. “This is the life eh Pete on the open road wind in your hair.”

    Costello. “You aint got any hair”

    Howard.”My eye brows Pete my eye brows.

  31. Gaz says:

    Costello “What ya gonna do when you retire Johno”

    Howard.”Im gonna make Australians lives miserable”

  32. Gaz says:

    Truck radio crackles into life.

    Emergency there is a fire at a mosque in Bankstown.

    Howard.”da whad they say Pete.

    Costello. “Pick up some dude called Gary and twenty gallons of petrol Ummmm I’ll just check that was twenty gallons and not litres.”

  33. Guido says:

    What? you need to be a member of the NSW Fire Brigade Employees Union to drive this thing?

  34. dylwah says:

    “Australian Commuters have never had it so good”

  35. aidan says:

    “John Howard reacts to surprise when he sits on Peter Costello’s hot dog”

  36. aidan says:

    with with with WITH surprise ..

  37. Paul Burns says:

    Costello: He’s going to swallow a fly.

  38. Gaz says:

    Shortly after this picture was taken,Howard pictured driving was arrested for being under the influence of drugs.

    “He had a cup of “Dandy Lion Tea”

  39. Gaz says:

    Tony Abbott was invited on to the red debt truck,but due to the size and weight of his ears, it would have been classed as overloaded.

  40. Gaz says:

    John Howards first day as the new driver for Downers cream puff bakery was reported to be very happy in his new job.He was over heard to sing one of the more famous trucking songs.According to a listener Howard sung.

    I been every where man
    I been every where man
    I breathed the mountain air man
    I been every where
    I been to Kirribilli, Kirribilli,Kirribilli,Kirribilli,Kirribilli,
    Kirrribillli Kirrrriiiilllllllli KKKiiiiriiiibbbbillliii
    I been every where.

  41. catlick says:

    Something something, personal abuse, misogyny, something, something, defamatory comment, something, something, regional dialect, (done poorly). What do I win?

  42. FDB says:

    Q. What starts with ‘f’, ends with ‘uck’, and can be shared by two good buddies without a hint of shame?

  43. Stephen Bayne says:

    Peter Costello: Evil Puppet Master or dirty old perve? YOU DECIDE!

  44. FDB says:

    Still got that cold then Stephen?

  45. Tony D says:

    … the location and intentions of Pete’s right hand… well, John’s vocalisation is obvious.

    I shouldn’t say such things. Children might be present.

  46. Katz says:

    (In honour of Nov 22.)

    Ooo! Look Pete, there’s a nice grassy knoll over there. Let’s drive over for a closer look!

  47. Gaz says:

    Costello.”Hey Johny can you open ya mouth with out showing your teeth?”

  48. Chade says:

    “I’m in the driving seat here!”
    “Teehee, no he’s not…”

  49. Frank Calabrese says:

    “Toot Toot, Chug a Luga, Big Red Car. We Travel Near and We Travel Farrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.”

  50. Beppie says:

    The wheels on the bus go round and round,
    round and round, round and round…

  51. David Rubie says:

    Where am I driving to Pete?

    “Scores” – it’s our only hope left. Fancy a bit of ear wax?

  52. Gaz says:

    Howard “Now what was the name of that hospital we are delivering this new ambulance too.

  53. Jon says:

    Peter!! When I said one day you can handle ALL the levers of Government… I didn’t mean THAT lever!

  54. Stephen Bayne says:


    Are you talking to me?

  55. goodtobewithyou says:

    I’m the ventriloquist, he’s the dummy.

  56. Gaz says:

    “Dodgee Brothers used trucks”

    This nice red truck has a genuine 25000 km’s on the clock,and comes with two new TOOLS, and was only used once a week by Mr Mustafa Mosque to deliver informative pro Muslim pamphlets to the local community in Lindsay.

    Offer ends 8 p.m. 24th November. be quik

  57. nasking says:

    Costello: Sh*t, pull over, it’s the Federal Police!

    Howard: Keep smiling…damn, I left my Australia Card in the head office of the Exclusive Brethren.

    Costello: With our integrity…grrr…

  58. John Winston Howard:
    “Hang on Pete. I’m in angel gear. It’s all down hill, no stumps and then home to the scones that mother used to make.”

    Peter Howard Costello:
    “That was 3 years ago you drongo”

  59. Tim Hollo says:

    “Roll Up for the Mystery Tour! Roll Up!”

    I’ve always thought clowns were a bit scary, and these are two of the scariest…

  60. FDB says:


    “#44 – Are you talking to me?”

    Yes. I’ve made this joke about your name every time I’ve seen you comment here, and will continue to until you respond in some way. Other than the above.

  61. Gaz says:


    “Hey Johno in keeping with our new initiatives on “Global Warming” and CO2 emissions,I have shoved the exhaust pipe of the truck up your Arse.


    Doh gee wilakers Peto I hadn’t really noticed I thought it was Alexander giving me another wedge.

  62. Gaz says:

    Costello. “Hey Johno drive dow to the A.B.C. talley room.

    Howard. “Doh gee Peto are we gonna claim victory already?

    Costello. “Nah your gonna wash this bloody truck”

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